Story in Limerick (Fun fer OneShotWednesday post)

There was an old man living here;
He was bald and sun burn his fear;
He stayed in his house,
Lived like a mouse,
On cheese and tainted rootbeer.

There was an old gal who lived there;
She'd marry a man who had hair.
They shaved their heads,
Hid under their beds,
Because she'd drink without care.

The old man who lived here with Fred
Escaped by shaving his head,
Until the day
He went to play
With nubbins of hairs that weren't dead

The old gal who lived there drunk on her beer
Saw nubbins instead of no hair.
She fell in love,
Raised stick above
Her head and whacked him above ear.

He fell to the walk; she drug him away
By his head to her home where he'd stay.
He still abides there
In her beer stench lair
Where she keeps him well to this day.

                         --Monty Wheeler