Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Villanelle (for OneStopPoetry's villanelle week)

I push the pencil using both its ends.
Until I've pulled my hair out through the night.
This villanelle and me will not be friends.

I curse out loud, as my eraser rends
My perfect words from paper and from sight.
I push the pencil using both its ends.

Another cup of strong black coffee sends
My muddled brain into a dizzy flight.
This villanelle and me will not be friends.

For my travails, there ain't no dividends,
No monetary gain for night-long fight.
I push the pencil using both its ends.

I suffer long!  This callused poem depends
On silly metered rhyme that's written right.
This villanelle and me will not be friends.

I curse you, villanelle, with no amends!
I've been to Hell and back for you all right!
I push the pencil using both its ends.
This villanelle and me will not be friends.

Monty Wheeler

9 comments:

  1. Awesome, I'm so glad you decided to post this. It seems better late than on time, as this is the best one I've read. Hat is off sir!

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  2. what can i say - looks like the villanelle and you are good friends...smiles
    you got the form right - your rhythm is stable (almost all the way pentameter)
    the only non-pentameter line was
    "On metered rhyme that's written right."
    and you could easily make it pentameter
    maybe
    "on penta-metered rhyme that's written right"

    (you don't have to though cause it doesn't have to be - but i think i would because you managed all the rest with bravour.)

    and i loved the content. kudos - very well done for a first villanelle - you should smoke the pipe of piece with the villanelle...you two seem to get on well..smiles

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  3. lmao! oh, dear claudia, you caught my miscounting. you'd wonder how I got out of 1st grade, let alone college. lol and ironic, so much so, was the line the miscount was in lol and all jokes aside, I am glad you caught it :)

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  4. Ha! Nice. Sure showed us. Sometimes the rigidity of these forms can leave a person pulling hair, especially if they're not in the right mood...but you took the annoyance of the attempt, and turn that into the craft. Amazing where we can draw inspiration from. Most entertaining.

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  5. Love it. You are a wee bit too funny for your own good...but a good poet needs a sense of humor! I agree about poetic forms, btw.

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  6. Me thinks 'twas easier than ye saith here..because ye did it and it readeth easily.
    Kudos on mastering the form my friend! Did you read mine? I can't recall. It's here http://hollyheir.wordpress.com called Nocturne.
    Thanks, Gay @beachanny

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